As usual I removed all my clothes and was just lying on my bed nude. Then I thought of doing something adventurous. It was around 1 in the night. Our hostel room contains a hall, bedroom, bathroom and kitchen. I was lying on my bed in bedroom.I decided to go out of my room completely naked without even wearing a towel, but I was very scared about it. I never did this before. I only had thoughts of doing such things but never did it in real life. I had a great fight with my inner voice whether. For the moment, you have also decided, fuck the neighbor because the absolute ecstasy you are experiencing is all that matters. Who is this guy crosses your mind? Who cares, you think and then giggle a little out loud. You realize your mistake and look down at me, to see my disappointment. I stand up and take my shirt off, and tell you to turn around. You obey, and then I tell you to open your mouth. I’ve made a gag out of my shirt, and I tie it around your mouth. I loosen my pants, and slide. Some of the key moments over the next three years remain etched in my memory.She started her methodical demolition of my spirit by describing how Brenda had died."You only have yourself to blame for her death, Sean. If you had only listened to reason, if you had 'emerged' on Gael in the proper way, then she would still be alive."Her poor 'other-world' body was frail and couldn't withstand the forces your 'emergence' created. Her body splintered into a million tiny pieces. There wasn't a piece. They became still, sated, and I came to myself, stirred and astounded by what I had seen, but suddenly aware of my surroundings, and the awful, impossible, ruinous presence of Cindy behind me. I turned my head to face her, dreading her expression. But she wasn't looking at me. Her eyes were fixed over my shoulder at the window, and I suddenly realized that, from her place on the stairs, she was looking directly through the gap under the curtain and into the bedroom. She had seen what I had.
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